I have just reached the second highest level in my career as a Town Clerk, I now hold the International designation of Certified Municipal Clerk. After all of this hard work and effort to reach this goal; that I set close to six years ago, I find myself wanting to leave this career path.
I have hard choices to make; I have a stable job with great benefits and I still find myself craving something different. The Spirit inside of me screams for change. I find myself day dreaming about my passion, my logical brain and my creative spirit are at odds right now. I shall meditate on it for a couple of more days.
I set my intention to have my own Wellness Business now I hope I can stop fighting with the Universe about it. All things are lining up for my intention to become reality. However I can’t seem to let go of the past comforts.
Intentions have power like no other. Reiki, Meditation and Ambition, my mantra for the next couple of days.
As I meditated the day away, self-treatments galore, this came to me. I used Reiki to amplify my prayers to God. It was the most profound experience:
I fear God, God is Fear… this simple configuration of words has a power behind it.
I am seeking wisdom and when I decided to searched the bible for wisdom the passages were profound. I read the bible when we did a year with the bible at my church (Life Church Gorham ME) and the passages seemed to whisper to me but it was so faint I had so much going on in my head that I wasn’t in the present moment; so I missed a lot.
I decided to incorporate a bible verse in my Reiki self-practice and I had been seeking wisdom and knowledge all day. So I said the prayer “God please show me how to obtain knowledge and wisdom.” and I did Reiki over my bible.
I had a lot of apprehension because of the Christian, Reiki aspect. My viewpoint is that Reiki is Love and Love is not evil. I embrace both aspects of me.
There were so many passages about Wisdom in the bible it was just the simple affirmation/Prayer to show me how to obtain Wisdom. I used the Reiki II symbols over my bible and then did Reiki until it was done. This is what found me:
New King James Version (NKJV)
Job’s Discourse on Wisdom
28 “Surely there is a mine for silver,
And a place where gold is refined.
2 Iron is taken from the earth,
And copper is smelted from ore.
3 Man puts an end to darkness,
And searches every recess
For ore in the darkness and the shadow of death.
4 He breaks open a shaft away from people;
In places forgotten by feet
They hang far away from men;
They swing to and fro.
5 As for the earth, from it comes bread,
But underneath it is turned up as by fire;
6 Its stones are the source of sapphires,
And it contains gold dust.
7 That path no bird knows,
Nor has the falcon’s eye seen it.
8 The proud lions[a] have not trodden it,
Nor has the fierce lion passed over it.
9 He puts his hand on the flint;
He overturns the mountains at the roots.
10 He cuts out channels in the rocks,
And his eye sees every precious thing.
11 He dams up the streams from trickling;
What is hidden he brings forth to light.
12 “But where can wisdom be found?
And where is the place of understanding?
13 Man does not know its value,
Nor is it found in the land of the living.
14 The deep says, ‘It is not in me’;
And the sea says, ‘It is not with me.’
15 It cannot be purchased for gold,
Nor can silver be weighed for its price.
16 It cannot be valued in the gold of Ophir,
In precious onyx or sapphire.
17 Neither gold nor crystal can equal it,
Nor can it be exchanged for jewelry of fine gold.
18 No mention shall be made of coral or quartz,
For the price of wisdom is above rubies.
19 The topaz of Ethiopia cannot equal it,
Nor can it be valued in pure gold.
20 “From where then does wisdom come?
And where is the place of understanding?
21 It is hidden from the eyes of all living,
And concealed from the birds of the air.
22 Destruction and Death say,
‘We have heard a report about it with our ears.’
23 God understands its way,
And He knows its place.
24 For He looks to the ends of the earth,
And sees under the whole heavens,
25 To establish a weight for the wind,
And apportion the waters by measure.
26 When He made a law for the rain,
And a path for the thunderbolt,
27 Then He saw wisdom[b] and declared it;
He prepared it, indeed, He searched it out.
28 And to man He said,
‘Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom,
And to depart from evil is understanding.’”
Job 28:8 Literally sons of pride, figurative of the great lions
Job 28:27 Literally it
I am still profoundly processing this that I needed to document this moment in time. Instead of keeping it as a draft I’m letting it go out there. I can’t get this experience into words so I am certain the passion will be shared with the reader of this post. I am Blessed.
The lessons I have learned in the life time were not necessarily meant for the moment they were happening. Some of my experiences have happened so that later I would reflect on them and realize what the lesson was during that time period.
When I write in my journals I was very rarely reading them afterwards. Blogging may help me notice the patterns in my life. I was re-reading them by chance because of my book. I love the written hand that another reason it took me so long to get into blogging. I like to see my hand writing script and know that at one point in time I touched the paper that it was written on; I like reading old diaries for that very reason. I early on had my book thoughts trickle out onto the journal pages and wanted to see if there were any salvageable bits of excitement. That is when I started reading my own entries and they spoke to me so loudly. I have been pre-occupied with my own thought literally. When I can get through the past 20+ years of journals, the first years were a hard read, but honestly they are helping me realize how far I have come and how much I have evolved and changed.
The major thing I noticed in my life is that I live with my emotions out-loud. I may have found my second book and perhaps it is non-fiction. Excitement, nostalgia and overwhelming comfort are enveloping me this Sunday afternoon.