I have just reached the second highest level in my career as a Town Clerk, I now hold the International designation of Certified Municipal Clerk. After all of this hard work and effort to reach this goal; that I set close to six years ago, I find myself wanting to leave this career path.
I have hard choices to make; I have a stable job with great benefits and I still find myself craving something different. The Spirit inside of me screams for change. I find myself day dreaming about my passion, my logical brain and my creative spirit are at odds right now. I shall meditate on it for a couple of more days.
I set my intention to have my own Wellness Business now I hope I can stop fighting with the Universe about it. All things are lining up for my intention to become reality. However I can’t seem to let go of the past comforts.
Intentions have power like no other. Reiki, Meditation and Ambition, my mantra for the next couple of days.
As I meditated the day away, self-treatments galore, this came to me. I used Reiki to amplify my prayers to God. It was the most profound experience:
I fear God, God is Fear… this simple configuration of words has a power behind it.
I am seeking wisdom and when I decided to searched the bible for wisdom the passages were profound. I read the bible when we did a year with the bible at my church (Life Church Gorham ME) and the passages seemed to whisper to me but it was so faint I had so much going on in my head that I wasn’t in the present moment; so I missed a lot.
I decided to incorporate a bible verse in my Reiki self-practice and I had been seeking wisdom and knowledge all day. So I said the prayer “God please show me how to obtain knowledge and wisdom.” and I did Reiki over my bible.
I had a lot of apprehension because of the Christian, Reiki aspect. My viewpoint is that Reiki is Love and Love is not evil. I embrace both aspects of me.
There were so many passages about Wisdom in the bible it was just the simple affirmation/Prayer to show me how to obtain Wisdom. I used the Reiki II symbols over my bible and then did Reiki until it was done. This is what found me:
New King James Version (NKJV)
Job’s Discourse on Wisdom
28 “Surely there is a mine for silver,
And a place where gold is refined.
2 Iron is taken from the earth,
And copper is smelted from ore.
3 Man puts an end to darkness,
And searches every recess
For ore in the darkness and the shadow of death.
4 He breaks open a shaft away from people;
In places forgotten by feet
They hang far away from men;
They swing to and fro.
5 As for the earth, from it comes bread,
But underneath it is turned up as by fire;
6 Its stones are the source of sapphires,
And it contains gold dust.
7 That path no bird knows,
Nor has the falcon’s eye seen it.
8 The proud lions[a] have not trodden it,
Nor has the fierce lion passed over it.
9 He puts his hand on the flint;
He overturns the mountains at the roots.
10 He cuts out channels in the rocks,
And his eye sees every precious thing.
11 He dams up the streams from trickling;
What is hidden he brings forth to light.
12 “But where can wisdom be found?
And where is the place of understanding?
13 Man does not know its value,
Nor is it found in the land of the living.
14 The deep says, ‘It is not in me’;
And the sea says, ‘It is not with me.’
15 It cannot be purchased for gold,
Nor can silver be weighed for its price.
16 It cannot be valued in the gold of Ophir,
In precious onyx or sapphire.
17 Neither gold nor crystal can equal it,
Nor can it be exchanged for jewelry of fine gold.
18 No mention shall be made of coral or quartz,
For the price of wisdom is above rubies.
19 The topaz of Ethiopia cannot equal it,
Nor can it be valued in pure gold.
20 “From where then does wisdom come?
And where is the place of understanding?
21 It is hidden from the eyes of all living,
And concealed from the birds of the air.
22 Destruction and Death say,
‘We have heard a report about it with our ears.’
23 God understands its way,
And He knows its place.
24 For He looks to the ends of the earth,
And sees under the whole heavens,
25 To establish a weight for the wind,
And apportion the waters by measure.
26 When He made a law for the rain,
And a path for the thunderbolt,
27 Then He saw wisdom[b] and declared it;
He prepared it, indeed, He searched it out.
28 And to man He said,
‘Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom,
And to depart from evil is understanding.’”
Job 28:8 Literally sons of pride, figurative of the great lions
Job 28:27 Literally it
I am still profoundly processing this that I needed to document this moment in time. Instead of keeping it as a draft I’m letting it go out there. I can’t get this experience into words so I am certain the passion will be shared with the reader of this post. I am Blessed.
I know that without bad I will not have a measure of good. The year 2013 brought about many bad moments with the good lessons being woven in. I am so glad that I kept a journal because at the end of the year I could look at where I was and what I hoped ; and compare it to the end of the year. I used it to identify the accomplishments or disappointments that I had.
I can see how throughout the year I was being guided by God to be able to face the next task at hand. I wrote down my prayers and feel that writing them out by hand helped breathe life into them.
This morning I woke up did Reiki self-treatment, and then meditated over a cup of coffee. This is my favorite thing to do. I practice focusing on the moment that I am drinking the coffee. Everything is still going on around me but I am oblivious. I think God provides us with those meditative moments to heal. Our bodies are made to heal themselves, no matter how many products a man will invent to speed up the process the only thing that can really enhance the healing in my view is Reiki Attunements.
I had severe arthritis due to the death of my mother, that in the month of February 2013 I was in physical distress. I was only able to discover this by keeping my journal. I vowed at the end of 2012 to keep a journal at least one page for every day. Well i have three journals that is right three of them. Of course getting the written word onto the computer and in the edit is another story. So my blog may be bleak for a bit. Because transcribing my work into the digital world could prove arduous on this healing body. I never realized the energy that would be coursing through my body. I should be at an excellent typing speed by the end of it. I had no idea the obstacles that would present themselves throughout the year but I feel each one made me strong enough to be where I am.
Forgiving my husband for the pain he caused me is something I have been struggling with. I have been doing intense Reiki self-healing and getting ready for my new Reiki business, trying to figure out the balance of still doing my full-time job and start my own business. One thing is evident, I need to let go of some of the old stuff that I had been struggling with and one thing I chose is to let go of the affair that consumed me.
During the month of August I was consumed with anger and sadness, I feel as though it set me back to the beginning of the self-healing that I was fighting through since the death of my mother in January. I have decided that I am going to cherish the lessons that I have learned from this happening to me and realize how much strength I have from this experience. I am going to embrace the fact that I am releasing myself and the act of healing is taking front page of my life. I am forgiving him from my heart and soul.
I have essentially used Reiki to get through my husbands emotional affair and it is freeing me to love again.
I am making the affirmation that I will embrace my joy and happiness I will release the destructive and unhealthy thoughts that come with the affair.
Happiness is within me and I am going to continually live with the fact that this happened but I chose to let it stay where it happened and to move on from it a stronger, healthier and happier person than I was.
Before deciding to move in this direction the fear held me back and kept me in the moment of discovery it was an exhausting place to dwell, I constantly lived with the destructive thoughts that keep infusing me with anger towards my husband and his actions. Now I realize I was keeping myself from healing. I am thankful for this opportunity to move forward in my life and fill the space that was taken up by this event with new and loving events.
Forgiveness doesn’t come easy it has taken me almost five months of highs and lows to arrive here. But I now know with certainty that I forgive him, and I am moving on.
I was reading last night; about Wisdom, how wonderful she is. I believe I am on my journey for Wisdom, seeking her with my very being.
I have been presented with an opportunity to start my own Reiki Busines, by a close friend. I have decided to take the chance on me. I’m going to present a reduced work schedule for my current job and then open my own business. It is in a small office with two other practitioners, they are Licensed Practical Councilors they have been in business since April. Two weeks ago I sent my friend a Facebook Message asking how her new business was doing. She told me that she had recently had an office become empty and she wanted to know if I was interested in filling it with my Reiki business. I told her I would need to think about it for a few days.
The ironic thing about the whole opportunity is the business is located at the end of the Road we just moved from. The travel time to go there is about an hour not including the ferry ride; and I now live and work five minutes from my house. All of that considered, I’m seriously still thinking about this opportunity presenting itself at this exact moment in my life. The ego is very excited about the request to join an established business, the realist is saying whoa, the spirit in me is saying take a leap, you may like where you land.