Practitioners and Teachers
Forgiving my husband for the pain he caused me is something I have been struggling with. I have been doing intense Reiki self-healing and getting ready for my new Reiki business, trying to figure out the balance of still doing my full-time job and start my own business. One thing is evident, I need to let go of some of the old stuff that I had been struggling with and one thing I chose is to let go of the affair that consumed me.
During the month of August I was consumed with anger and sadness, I feel as though it set me back to the beginning of the self-healing that I was fighting through since the death of my mother in January. I have decided that I am going to cherish the lessons that I have learned from this happening to me and realize how much strength I have from this experience. I am going to embrace the fact that I am releasing myself and the act of healing is taking front page of my life. I am forgiving him from my heart and soul.
I have essentially used Reiki to get through my husbands emotional affair and it is freeing me to love again.
I am making the affirmation that I will embrace my joy and happiness I will release the destructive and unhealthy thoughts that come with the affair.
Happiness is within me and I am going to continually live with the fact that this happened but I chose to let it stay where it happened and to move on from it a stronger, healthier and happier person than I was.
Before deciding to move in this direction the fear held me back and kept me in the moment of discovery it was an exhausting place to dwell, I constantly lived with the destructive thoughts that keep infusing me with anger towards my husband and his actions. Now I realize I was keeping myself from healing. I am thankful for this opportunity to move forward in my life and fill the space that was taken up by this event with new and loving events.
Forgiveness doesn’t come easy it has taken me almost five months of highs and lows to arrive here. But I now know with certainty that I forgive him, and I am moving on.
I was reading last night; about Wisdom, how wonderful she is. I believe I am on my journey for Wisdom, seeking her with my very being.
I have been presented with an opportunity to start my own Reiki Busines, by a close friend. I have decided to take the chance on me. I’m going to present a reduced work schedule for my current job and then open my own business. It is in a small office with two other practitioners, they are Licensed Practical Councilors they have been in business since April. Two weeks ago I sent my friend a Facebook Message asking how her new business was doing. She told me that she had recently had an office become empty and she wanted to know if I was interested in filling it with my Reiki business. I told her I would need to think about it for a few days.
The ironic thing about the whole opportunity is the business is located at the end of the Road we just moved from. The travel time to go there is about an hour not including the ferry ride; and I now live and work five minutes from my house. All of that considered, I’m seriously still thinking about this opportunity presenting itself at this exact moment in my life. The ego is very excited about the request to join an established business, the realist is saying whoa, the spirit in me is saying take a leap, you may like where you land.
Some days the thoughts are heavier than others. Today is one of those days, full.
Full seems like the best way to describe it, I feel full of something the descriptive word is not yet realized by me to describe it. I am mad and glad all at the same time sometimes glad at being mad.
I feel courageous and nervous and they are happening simultaneously. I feel one great awaking after another. I’ve been reading my own Tarot, probably should be a warning. Asking all the questions that months ago may have predicted my present situation. I have decided to read more about it.
I have a crystal that I have cleared with Reiki and charged with Reiki and the Full Moon Cycle. It really does add another dimension to my Reiki sessions. I am trying to remain focused and optimistic but my moods have been so dramatic as of late. I some times wonder if my clothing choices have something to do with it. I have so many solid colored shirts and black or gray slacks. Is it because of my Aura intuition?
I have been happiest when I wear a combination of colors, one particular sweater being among them. I wore it on my 40th birthday, then the move happened and now we are here. My mom was alive the last time I wore that sweater, it is so surreal to realize that. She hugged me that day.
Change has been all around me and when I tell myself to slow down some spiritual growth occurs during the slow down process. I never could have prepared for the grief.
It all starts somewhere so I hear, well this is my start. I started my Reiki journey just this year in February.
During a week long training my room mate was moon eyed over a new thing she had learned Reiki. This year we had separate rooms so we didn’t get to talk to each other as much as we did the first two years so it was minor moments of chatter that I didn’t get much from it other than that she loved it.
Then God found me begging for him for something to help me ease this pain that only the loss of a parent can cause. He put me on the path to find Reiki. Or for Reiki to find me.
My mother passed away in January, she was a huge piece of me. Bigger than I always thought, she left quite the void. I had been in deep grief the weeks after her passing, the pain was immeasurable. The pain had manifested into a physical pain that left me desperate. Sleep was evasive, days moved into nights and I seemingly missed some. I thought of all the things I would never share with her again. Then I was grateful for all the times I got to share those things with her. Then I felt sad for the longest time, perhaps the lethargy is what caused the pain looking back. It felt as though I lived in a shadow of my self and was slowly finding the way to the light.
I called my PCP Dr. Shu, and scheduled an appointment begging him for a pill to make it go away. He gave seen me right away did x-rays and told me I had Arthritis and then scheduled me to see a specialist, when I called the soonest the specialist could get me in was two weeks away. Two weeks of suffering how was I going to survive it?
All I could focus on was the pain, physical, mental, emotional, all of it. I made it one day then I called him pleading feeling like a druggie calling for something to ease the pain.
I had researched things that help arthritis and Ibuprofen was thought to ease the swelling in the joints of this body that was betraying me, or was it the other way around? I thought this is it, I’m going to be dependent on prescription drugs for the rest of my days.
I searched for alternative medicines to help and that is where I came across a Reiki website, I don’t even remember what site it was but the next thing I know I was reading all there was to read about Reiki and I was searching for a Reiki Master in my area. I found one and best thing ever the next class started on Friday.
I felt hope. I didnt’ know really what to expect and I was faithful that God had lead me to the right direction. During the attunement, I thought wow this is like therapy for my soul. It was great, I felt a little tingle throughout my body, at first it was a slight vibration. I was intrigued.