Forgiving my husband for the pain he caused me is something I have been struggling with. I have been doing intense Reiki self-healing and getting ready for my new Reiki business, trying to figure out the balance of still doing my full-time job and start my own business. One thing is evident, I need to let go of some of the old stuff that I had been struggling with and one thing I chose is to let go of the affair that consumed me.
During the month of August I was consumed with anger and sadness, I feel as though it set me back to the beginning of the self-healing that I was fighting through since the death of my mother in January. I have decided that I am going to cherish the lessons that I have learned from this happening to me and realize how much strength I have from this experience. I am going to embrace the fact that I am releasing myself and the act of healing is taking front page of my life. I am forgiving him from my heart and soul.
I have essentially used Reiki to get through my husbands emotional affair and it is freeing me to love again.
I am making the affirmation that I will embrace my joy and happiness I will release the destructive and unhealthy thoughts that come with the affair.
Happiness is within me and I am going to continually live with the fact that this happened but I chose to let it stay where it happened and to move on from it a stronger, healthier and happier person than I was.
Before deciding to move in this direction the fear held me back and kept me in the moment of discovery it was an exhausting place to dwell, I constantly lived with the destructive thoughts that keep infusing me with anger towards my husband and his actions. Now I realize I was keeping myself from healing. I am thankful for this opportunity to move forward in my life and fill the space that was taken up by this event with new and loving events.
Forgiveness doesn’t come easy it has taken me almost five months of highs and lows to arrive here. But I now know with certainty that I forgive him, and I am moving on.
I was reading last night; about Wisdom, how wonderful she is. I believe I am on my journey for Wisdom, seeking her with my very being.
I have been presented with an opportunity to start my own Reiki Busines, by a close friend. I have decided to take the chance on me. I’m going to present a reduced work schedule for my current job and then open my own business. It is in a small office with two other practitioners, they are Licensed Practical Councilors they have been in business since April. Two weeks ago I sent my friend a Facebook Message asking how her new business was doing. She told me that she had recently had an office become empty and she wanted to know if I was interested in filling it with my Reiki business. I told her I would need to think about it for a few days.
The ironic thing about the whole opportunity is the business is located at the end of the Road we just moved from. The travel time to go there is about an hour not including the ferry ride; and I now live and work five minutes from my house. All of that considered, I’m seriously still thinking about this opportunity presenting itself at this exact moment in my life. The ego is very excited about the request to join an established business, the realist is saying whoa, the spirit in me is saying take a leap, you may like where you land.
Some days the thoughts are heavier than others. Today is one of those days, full.
Full seems like the best way to describe it, I feel full of something the descriptive word is not yet realized by me to describe it. I am mad and glad all at the same time sometimes glad at being mad.
I feel courageous and nervous and they are happening simultaneously. I feel one great awaking after another. I’ve been reading my own Tarot, probably should be a warning. Asking all the questions that months ago may have predicted my present situation. I have decided to read more about it.
I have a crystal that I have cleared with Reiki and charged with Reiki and the Full Moon Cycle. It really does add another dimension to my Reiki sessions. I am trying to remain focused and optimistic but my moods have been so dramatic as of late. I some times wonder if my clothing choices have something to do with it. I have so many solid colored shirts and black or gray slacks. Is it because of my Aura intuition?
I have been happiest when I wear a combination of colors, one particular sweater being among them. I wore it on my 40th birthday, then the move happened and now we are here. My mom was alive the last time I wore that sweater, it is so surreal to realize that. She hugged me that day.
Change has been all around me and when I tell myself to slow down some spiritual growth occurs during the slow down process. I never could have prepared for the grief.